Horchata Factory

Sad times.

Upgrading from Lite to Full version

This is what you get when you give me a dollar:

- four more music tracks

- terrible voice acting from Peetre Lamb himself

- Quick Play Hard Mode

- Practice Mode

- Bomba Mode

- Fight Jerry Mode

- Online Leaderboards

- More control options ( sensitivity, adjust dead zone )

- Unlockable items like The Worst Ending Ever Recorded, Development facts, iPhone wallpaper, diet pills for Peetre, and more.

- Shames (they're like Achievements)

- Better explosions

- 360 way shooting instead of 8 way

- peace of mind knowing that you aren't a cheapskate

Random real life quotes about 30 and Dirty

"Haha fun stuff indeed. I love the sarcastic twist behind this game"
"This is a great game, but why is the main character so fat?"
"Can't you make the hero a little thinner? It's just not cool to be controlling a dirty game-addict in a shooter game. He looks a lot like my brother except my brother doesn't have a fro."
"I've been playing this game for a few days now and its pretty awesome."
"This game has the most non-sensical storyline of all time. I approve of this."
"Looks fucking awesome. Keep heroes fat, America."
"Really impressed with the game, I must admit. It's a lot of fun. "

30 and Dirty 1.3.1, What is it?

What would you get if Smash TV, Sammo Hung, and Tron had a child? 30 and Dirty.

FEATURES

- a 300 lb. hero ( most of the weight comes from big bones, not cellulite )

- Quick Play mode: Survive as long as you can with 3 lives. The enemies get more and more menacing the longer you stay alive.

- Bomba! mode: Dodge suicide bombers and bullets. Trickier than it sounds, because you can't shoot.

- Electronica soundtrack. You can choose from five different songs to get your dirty on.

- Fight Jerry mode: Defeat the final boss.... Jerry Pham.

- Simple, yet innovative game mechanics, featuring "dirty zones". Kill dirty enemies to create dirty zones and destroy enemies within dirty zones for bonus points!

- Precise dual directional control system.

- Six types of distinct enemies to blow up. Unlike some other games that only have one type of enemy ( the kind that just follows you ) and re-skins them. We got suicide bombers, seekers, mines, free-roamers, leeches, and tanks. This game isn't for little girls, our enemies actually shoot at you too.

- Four weapon power-ups: shotgun, machine gun, missile, and homing puppies. Yes, you read that right, PUPPIES.

- Two super power-ups: Yaoi paddle (to grow large and hit everyone with your paddle) and Kurtis Overkill ( super fast shooting speed )

- Shames: Show your friends how sad you are with "Shames", the opposite of Achievements. If you die 100 times, the game will let you know and insult you for it!

- Unlock Shop: Spend your hard earned diploma fragments in the shop to purchase unlockable items.

- Location-based Online Leaderboards provided by Geocade. (http://www.geocade.com)

Horchata Factory

Monday, September 14, 2009

30 and Dirty is no longer for sale

Videos

Upgrading from Lite to Full version

Random real life quotes about 30 and Dirty

30 and Dirty 1.3.1, What is it?